I’m so discouraged today.
I woke up feeling “off” like something is wrong or something is going to go wrong. I prayed and cried and tried to listen for God’s leading through His Word. He gave me: “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” (Exodus 14:14 NIV.)
I held onto that Scripture all morning and used it as a flashlight to shine it on what I was feeling. I don’t live by my feelings, but I need to be aware of them, especially when they are so heavy and I’m hauling them around.
So I stopped and slipped off the “backpack” and unzipped it. I used that flashlight to see inside; it was stuffed with discouragement and guilt. Bingo.
I know where that garbage is from and it’s not from God. And now I understand why God gave me that Scripture: I’m in the midst of another battle. And more importantly, I know Who is fighting for me.
So I’ll take a minute, just now, to cry. Not because I’m broken or I’ve lost the battle, but because the mighty hand of my Jesus has tenderly pulled me behind Him. He is fighting for me right now. I’m crying into the back of His robe. I can feel His warmth as I press my face into Him. I can feel and hear the vibrations of His voice as He speaks His truth at the father of lies.
I always pray to be closer to Jesus, to know Him more. I know Him more today, in this very moment, as my Savior, my Warrior King, and my Hero Who fights for me.
He picks up the trash I was hauling around, like two rotten carcasses, and He hurls them at the enemy. Satan slinks back into the shadows.
Jesus turns to me now and kneels down beside me as I’ve dropped to the ground to thank Him, and He lifts up my chin to see Him.
Oh, those eyes.
Those are the eyes I’m living for, to please, to stare into for all eternity. There is such fire and strength and overwhelming love. They burn into me, not in a painful way, but as a way for me to remember this moment. It’s like lifting my face to the sun, closing my eyes, and still seeing the light with my eyes shut.
In all the darkness I will face, I will still see His light. This moment will stay with me long past today.
I will remember, Lord, that your eyes are upon me, and you do fight for me.
“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” (Exodus 14:14 NIV.)