You Are More Than Just a Number


When I was in college, I had a student ID number I would use to buy my lunch and check out books at the library. Later, I had a job and was assigned a clock number that became my identity to my employer.

Today, if I call about our car insurance, they can’t divulge any information until I give them our policy number to prove who I am. And when I write a check to pay a doctor bill, I have to put our account number on the check to make sure we’re credited the amount.

So many numbers.

Do you ever feel like you’re just a number?

It’s pretty easy to feel that way, to wonder in this great big world if you’re just a blemish, a spot; unnoticeable or easily forgotten. It’s easy to get discouraged and wonder if anyone sees you for who you really are or if your life has become nothing more than a series of numbers.

But you are MUCH more than just a number to God.

In my teeny tiny mind I see it like this: God is so mighty and BIG, encompassing all of the space in space. Then He moves in REALLY close, traveling quickly through space and time at speeds unknown to the human mind. (Imagine racing to the earth from space at breakneck speeds, seeing panoramic views of the land as greens and browns and the massive bodies of water on planet earth as your focus becomes narrower. You see less and less until you close in on one single, tiny object.)

God’s sight is fixed. He’s closing in and focusing on the sliver of an object. From His viewpoint He could have stopped midair and taken in the entire planet, but He kept going. He kept moving in. He kept coming closer and closer.

What was this object He was focused on? What tiny detail captured His attention?

A single hair. And it’s on your head.

God knows every single thing about you. Not a moment of your life goes unnoticed by Him. He’s counted every hair on your head, and He’s seen every tear you’ve cried.

That means He’s been there even when you thought you were all alone. He’s been there when you fell apart, trying to keep it all together; in the shower, while driving, folding the laundry, before you left your car to walk through those doors at work.

God was even there when you forced that smile, making everyone believe you were okay.

With God, you can relax. He already knows. He already sees you. You can let Him in closer.

He’s already there anyway.

“Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And not one of them is forgotten by God. Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.” (Luke 12:6-7 ESV.)

“You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” (Psalm 56:8 NLT.)

“You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, The days of my life all prepared before I’d even lived one day.” (Psalm139:15-16 MSG.)



The Jar in the Suitcase

the jar

This is a continuation from my last post, Unlocking the Past. If you’re going through this too, please know I’m praying for you.

I pulled that heavy and musty suitcase (the one I was trying to bury that held all those things from my past) from the back of my spiritual closet and laid it on its side. I prayed to God, asking Him to unlock it for me, and begged Him to stay with me as I slumped on the floor.

The Holy Spirit strengthened me as we opened it together.

I braced myself, expecting to see a lot of painful things, ugly reminders of how I let so many people down.

But do you know what I saw?

A jar.

I sat there for a moment while the Holy Spirit reminded me:

Years ago, I’d gotten in over my head and God told me to step down from some things. But I WAITED to obey Him, not wanting to disappoint a number of people. I found myself crying out to Him so many times as I was lying in bed at night, just sobbing and trying not to wake my husband. I begged God to rescue me, knowing I was in serious trouble.

I knew I had disobeyed God, and it was crushing me. I’d never felt so overwhelmed, so defeated, and so alone in all my life.

And I failed. (Of course I did, I was disobeying God!) And yes, I failed a lot of people who were counting on me. But the worst part: I failed God.

But God didn’t help me to unlock my suitcase, so I could sit there on the floor and beat myself up again. I’d asked for forgiveness years ago, and I know God is faithful to forgive me when I ask. (If you’re still beating yourself up, this is for you too!)

So let’s go back to the jar I found in the suitcase…

The Holy Spirit reminded me of Elijah and the widow of Zarephath (1 Kings 17: 7-16). Her jar of flour was not used up during the drought. She didn’t die like she thought. She and her son survived.

God provided what she needed in that jar.

This glass jar I found in my suitcase, God’s provision for me, is FULL of His mercies and His never ending love; it never runs low or runs out. His mercy helped me to survive a terribly difficult time in my life, and His love rescued me.

And the jar is still full today, helping me to heal and move on.

My dear friend, if God has led you to pull out the suitcase from your past, and you’re opening it with Him, get a hold of that jar. (You’ve got one, too.)

God’s mercy and His love are for all of us. He will be with you right there on the floor, His Holy Spirit comforting you and speaking truth to you about your situation (leading you to ask for forgiveness if you haven’t already) and holding you close to remind you that YOU ARE FORGIVEN and YOU ARE LOVED.

Now, I don’t know about you, but I’m going to put my jar in a place where I can see it every day to remember my Heavenly Father’s love NEVER ends, and He is faithful beyond what I can even comprehend.

And I’m going to cry out to Him with songs of praise.

“God’s loyal love couldn’t have run out, his merciful love couldn’t have dried up. They’re created new every morning. How great your faithfulness!” (Lamentations 3:22-23 MSG.)

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9 NIV.)

 “Oh come, let us sing to the Lord; let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation! Let us come into his presence with thanksgiving; let us make a joyful noise to him with songs of praise!” (Psalms 95: 1-2 ESV.)