You Are Radiant

radiant

Many years ago, I dated a man who was verbally abusive. He never hit me physically, but he knew exactly how to lash out at me with his words and how to slice my heart with his silence. I finally left him when I decided I would rather be alone for the rest of my life than be with him. (Side note: This was before I was walking with God, so I was unaware that God was with me.)

Unfortunately, something in me had been damaged by his words and through that relationship. I left, but I was scarred in my heart and in my spirit, and those scars left me feeling ugly. Beyond ugly. Repulsive. And I didn’t know if I could ever let anyone get close to me because they would see that ugliness and run the other way.

So I worked at hiding it, burying it under a “I’m fine” mentality and keeping people at arm’s length. It worked. I smiled a lot. I managed it all very well.

Until I met this wonderful man (now my husband of nearly eighteen years), and I wanted to let him in, past the barricade I’d constructed. Only, I was afraid he would see that ugliness seeping out and would turn and walk away. I teetered back and forth, uncertain what to do, until finally (thankfully!) I let him in.

I am here today, looking over my shoulder at the past, and remembering that trial. That difficult season. That unbearable feeling of not being worthy or good enough. Of being ugly. I was terrified of being caught, of being discovered that I was ugly underneath it all, and that I wasn’t really anything special at all; just an ugly blemish hanging out in the world.

God brought this all back to me today, some twenty years later while I scrambled eggs for lunch. I’m not exactly sure why, but He knows why and He was very clear in saying:

Ugliness is a lie.

You. Me. We are NOT ugly. All that the word “ugly” involves: the feelings of not being good enough, of being way down at the bottom of some ridiculous ranking system, that we’re stupid, a waste of space, unimportant, unlovable, insignificant etc. Those are all lies.

The truth is, we have great value. Remember what Jesus did for us, for YOU. You are unique and lovely and beautiful. And you are simply wonderful because God made you that way. Period.

No, you’re not perfect nor do you have to be. (Whew! What a relief.) But you are perfectly loved by the One Who is love.

If you are going through a similar and painful season right now, let me tell you: God sees you. He was there with you when the words someone spoke to you damaged you. And He sees how you’ve tried to bury them and how they keep surfacing like pond scum; that’s just what those hurtful words are – pond scum.

Get rid of them. Scrape them off and fling them aside. And as you step over that muck and walk away, lift your head high and praise God as His light shines upon you.

You are a beautiful and radiant child of God Almighty. Don’t let anyone tell you anything different.

“I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well.” (Psalm 139:14 NASB.)

“Those who look to him [the Lord] are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.” (Psalm 34:5 NIV.)

10 thoughts on “You Are Radiant

  1. Awww my dear crazy colourful sock/t-shirt-wearing sister in Christ – such a powerful message and ever-so-timely!! Just made it through a broken season with His crimson flow – His love flowing through and beyond the vasculature and structures of my broken heart – I can so relate to “ugly” – my sister used to introduce me with the following script, “This is my sister Debbie, she may have got the brains but I got the beauty” or the following hurtful reminder, “You have butt fluff for hair” – I lived for years feeling “ugly” – thank you for this love-filled message – feeling beautiful and radiant!!!!

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    1. Oh, my dear Debra…you ARE definitely beautiful and radiant!! I’m so sorry you’ve been hurt like that. I don’t think people realize how hurtful their words can be. Your sister said those things, and my brother actually said, “Joey is so ugly and so fat.” It became a joke to him that he’d sort of sing around the house. I know he was kidding around, but it still really hurt. BUT then God came into my life (and yours too!) and shows us in unexpected and lovely ways how precious we are to Him and how beautiful He has made us! We really are so blessed. We may have had some rough times, but now we can share Who it is that we find our beauty, our value in. We are sooooo loved!! And if I must say, we are even more lovely when we’re wearing our crazy colorful socks and giggling with our Lord, bathed in the joy He brings. Also, please know I’m praying for you as you are moving past the broken season you mentioned. May God bless you abundantly today and always as He takes your hand and walks with you into a wonderful NEW season.

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      1. I thank you for your prayer as I walk with Him in this new season!!! Isaiah 43:4 reminds us “. . . you are precious in my eyes, and honoured, and I love you” – we are so precious!!! – and, what a blessing you have been – I still marvel at how the Holy Spirit led me to your blog through His initial ushering to the (in)courage site – keep writing precious one!!! xo

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        1. Oh I LOVE that Scripture…thank you for sharing!! And let me just say, YOU’VE been an absolute blessing to me! I’m thankful the Holy Spirit brought us together through (in)courage too (and now here!) I can’t even begin to explain how much your encouragement means to me, but I can ask God to give you, His precious child, a big hug for me and to bless you abundantly!! 🙂

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          1. And, a great big hug from me to you – blessings from crazy colourful sock headquarters – I shall spend the evening basking in the sun/son here in sunny Surrey BC Canada xo

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  2. I’m sorry you felt that , God brought you through it, and he brought you to me. I thank him everyday for you. You are beautiful and I’m lucky to have you.Love you Momma now and forever.

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    1. Oh my, how I love you, Jim. You are such a blessing to me!! I thank God for you everyday, too. God brought me through it, broken, and He allowed me to fall into the safety and love of your arms…where I found His healing over time and the most amazing husband! Thank you for being YOU. (And yes, you are VERY special!!) I love you, always, always, and forever.

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  3. Joey thank you. I have lived this most of my life. I continue to pray to God as I know who I am. No one should have to live through this. It kills the soul! I am strong and trust that God is with me.
    Blessings my Friend❤

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    1. Bless your heart, Peggy. I’m so sorry you’ve gone through this. You’re right, no one should have to live through it…it does kill the soul. BUT, as you said, God is with you! So He will continue to strengthen you and help you, day by day, to see just how beautiful, how radiant you are…and how precious you are to Him (and so many others!). Love you, my friend, and blessings to you!

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