God is in the renovation business. But you have to do your part.
You have to ask Him for help.
You have to surrender to God, tell Him you need Him to move in your life even more powerfully, that you want to go deeper with Him, that you hunger and crave more of Him in your life, and you refuse to settle for where you are right now. You want more. And to have more of Him, you know He needs to renovate you.
So you bravely ask Him to reveal the weak areas in your life, those hidden places you’ve been too busy to notice. You ask Him to be the silversmith that heats the silver, revealing the dross, those impurities in your heart, so He can scrape them off and toss them out of your life.
But before He removes them, He lets you see them. All of your bitterness and anger surface and sit there like ugly black chunks beside the bright, hot metal. God allows you to get a good look at it, to really see it for what it is.
You get more and more uncomfortable the longer He allows it to stay. You want it gone. You want God to hurry up and dispose of it because it’s painful to see.
He allows it to linger just long enough. This isn’t to hurt you, but to give you the opportunity to see what you’ve kept hidden and what it was doing to you. You realize, this is a lesson from your Teacher. You hear Him whisper, “That anger is like a disease in your spirit.” And when you think about it, you realize it started as a small speck but because you failed to deal with it, it spread like some sort of gangrene, devouring the goodness and purity surrounding it.
And you can’t help but notice the striking contrast: His blinding, powerful light against the darkness of your hidden sin.
But again, you asked God to draw you closer to Him. This isn’t a task to simply point out your flaws but to point out your need for Him. He’s the only One who can remove such agonizing and toxic things from your life.
So you take a deep breath, acknowledge what you see and ask for forgiveness and for help. And then you let go. You let go of the time someone hurt you, the moment you were abandoned, discarded, forgotten, and labeled. It’s done ugly things to you and holding on isn’t bringing you power over the situation; it’s trapping you in the moment and keeping you a prisoner as the disease spreads and consumes more and more of you.
But again, God is in the renovation business; taking the old, worn, and broken and making it new.
So you focus on Him. You imagine His mighty hand removing all the poison, refining you. Perhaps you hit your knees, completely falling apart knowing He is about to rebuild. Or maybe you stand taller, tears streaming down your cheeks as you close your eyes and lift your face heavenward, knowing He is watching you… and smiling.
His renovation has brought you not only closer to Him, but to something He offers:
The ugliness no longer has a hold on you. The memory no longer traps you. The guilt and shame no longer suffocate your joy.
You are free to walk even closer to God. It’s where He’s wanted you all along.
“For you, O God, tested us; you refined us like silver.” (Psalm 66:10 NIV.)