Why, God?

midnight

It was around midnight when our daughter started to cough again. It’s not just a little annoying cough that goes away in a few seconds but a stubborn, cruel one that can take her breath away, leaving her red-faced and me panicking and rushing to her with a glass of water.

Of course I prayed. I prayed over her during the day, at night while she slept, while I brushed my teeth.  You name it, and she was on my heart and in my prayers to God.  And during one of those sleep-deprived nights of listening and going over the checklist in my mind of things I could try, a question crept into my mind:

Why, God?

I cringed as it began to grow at rapid speed into other questions. Why won’t you help her? Why is this happening?  What am I supposed to do?

I grabbed a hold of those questions and whispered out something different, “Please help her.” And a beautiful stillness flowed from her room.  She had stopped coughing and fell back to sleep.  I thanked God.  But I still held my breath and listened for the coughing to return.  It didn’t until the next day.

As I spent time with God the following morning, I told Him I was sorry. Sorry for doubting Him in the midst of my worries.  Sorry my faith jumped out the window.  But just like the awesome God we have, He forgave me and then began to teach.

He reminded me of our daughter’s prescription, the handout that came with it from the pharmacy. It states something like your doctor believes the benefits of this medication outweigh the negative side effects.

And then God made it even clearer what He wanted me to understand: The benefits from this situation will far outweigh the illness.

As the day went on and I took our daughter to another doctor where she was given an inhaler, I started to consider something. Maybe there is an underlying illness like asthma working here and now we will be aware of it.  Or maybe, just maybe, we will never know the “why” but we know “Who,” the Great Physician Who always has a plan and knows the benefits to come far outweigh the current struggle.

“For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever!” (2 Corinthians 4:17 NLT.)

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2 thoughts on “Why, God?

    1. Thank you so much for reading, Fran. He certainly is growing my faith…helping me to understand the meaning of growing pains. But I love Him so much, it’s worth it all just to know Him more. May you and your family have a blessed day as well.

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